Reaching out for my Samsung Galaxy A3, my first birthday present which arrived a week early, I noticed it was 1:00 am. I was up and couldn’t go back to bed. Not that I had been sleeping throughout the night in the past 5 years. I always woke up some time during the night and then would simply go back to bed. I lay in bed staring at the ceiling and darting my eyes from the white fan to the blue painted walls in my room. Memories came flooding my mind like the perennial Accra floods between May and July and then followed a barrage of tears.
I was turning 30, something I should have been grateful for, but I wasn’t. God had ‘failed’ me. He had ‘disappointed’ me BIG time and I was mad at him. You see, I had plans; a checklist, to be precise by which we (mainly I) was going by. Everything in my life was going just fine by the checklist except for one, or two things. By age 30, I should have crossed some specific things on that checklist. I had a great job, I was happy, enjoying my church ministry (choir), active with my charity group (Blessing in Giving), running two businesses, looking forward to starting my Masters’ the following year and finally tying the knot.
Tying the knot…That was one of the major things on my checklist in the 3rd decade of my life but God had plans. I sank into depression and had a grudge with God; refusing to speak to Him, even through the sobs, all I could hear were His words of comfort, assuring me that I would be fine. I didn’t believe it.
Despite my wavering faith, God showed himself otherwise. He put people in my life, that prayed for and with me, and would check up on me. I got out of the pit eventually, crossed off one Master’s programme off the list and working towards other things, especially my relationship with God; a process which never ends.
- Many people may disagree with me on this, but at a certain point in your life, you’re going to feel the need to meet the pressure society demands to achieve certain goals (career, education, financial and marital) within a particular timeframe. You will question yourself so many times. How you handle it is what matters.
- If you are a christian, remember that God made you and is the architect of your life. He knows when to add, cross off or cancel entirely any items on your checklsit.
- Society should not define you, but if you find yourself trying to meet its standards, don’t be too hard on yourself.
I am a year older today, far from where I was two years ago and making constant progress, especially in my spiritual walk. So cheers to everyone that has been a part of my 30+ journey in life.